Sunday, March 4, 2012

That "Feeling"

One thing I always doubt when I don't feel it is how do I hear God? But then, when I get "That Feeling", that Tug regarding an idea (often a CRAZY idea!) that I just can't shake or ignore, I know THAT'S God talking to me!

Lately, it's about children. Orphans and Foster kids specifically. I can't get them out of my head. I can't get them out of my heart. We have been in our new house 2 weeks, and this place feels like the tip of the iceburg, like something HUGE is headed our way. Something HUGE, and possibly SCARY, but also very WONDERFUL.

Just "by chance" (or is it?) I have recently run into several blogs and blog posts about Foster children. One post in particular was titled "What if we'd said no?" It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt like she had written it just for me.

We have always felt the tug to adopt. Before we had kids, I think even while we were dating, we knew we'd adopt some day. When the adoption of my cousins in Colombia came up, we thought that was why, but then it fell apart after a year and a half. And we were broken hearted and confused. Then we lost our "Adoption home" and moved into a tiny ranch and were really confused.

But now, we are in another perfect "adoption  home", with plenty of space for as many kids as God is willing to give us. And we felt like, when the time is right, we'll do it. He'll provide everything we need.

But lately, I am getting "that feeling" like That Time is Now, not years from now. And it is scary. So many questions...

  • I already struggle to mother 4 kids with 2 jobs, how could I handle any more? Especially if they are hurting?
  • We can barely make ends meet with what we have, how would we afford it?
  • We just moved in! We aren't even unpacked! Would we even pass a Home Study?
  • I still have soooo much to learn about cooking and organizing. My current kids just go with the flow, but how can I expect new kids to deal with this craziness? No, we'd never pass a Home Study!

But then this question....
What am I missing by saying no, not right now?

Oh goodness, Father, where are you taking us? I'm excited and scared.


  1. Hi Diane! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I thought I'd answer your question here since it applied here too.

    First - I'd say if you ever feel God tugging on you to do something, you might as well jump in head first. Remember the story of Jonah - you can run but you can't hide - he's going to convince you to go with him anyway :)

    Second - My practical advice to people who are nervous or not sure if it's the right time or whatever - just start. Go step-by-step through the process. Go to the information meeting. You'll either feel MORE called or LESS called. Unless you feel absolutely positive that you should not proceed, take the next step and fill out the application/attend training, etc. As long as you are unsure, just keep taking the next step forward until you feel like you're being told to stop. In the meantime, pray that God will direct your steps and change your path if you're headed the wrong way.

    I won't say that we've always taken the advice in our family, but when we have we've been much better off than waiting for everything to be perfect to move forward.

    Feel free to email mie anytime! my contact info is on my blog. Have a good day!

  2. Thank you so much! I might just take you up on that... I do feel we should just start heading that way like you said, but since we don't have anyone around us whose walked this path before us, it would be comforting to be able to come to you for wisdom & encouragement. I appreciate your willingness to help :)