11. ELEVEN y'all!
Do you want to know why?
Because so often, at least 11 times apparently, I sit down to write a post, full of words spilling out of me that must be shared with the world- whether or not anyone is actually going to read them- because if I don't I'll bust. But then? Something causes me to hit the "Save" button instead of "Publish".
It's that small voice whispering lies...
"No one cares what you have to say."
"WHO is going to take precious time from their day to read anything YOU have written?!"
"If you post this, people will lash out at you!!"
and so on.....
But today, I realized, something- or Someone- prompted me to write those words to begin with. And by never finishing it, I've failed the mission those words had been given. Someone DID need to read them. Even if it was just me.
Over the next few days I will be publishing all those posts and then some. If any of them offend you, I'm sorry. If they move you, hurrah! But I have words spilling out of my words here. A heart about to burst wide open with unshared sentiments and lessons learned yearning to be shared out loud, if only as a confirmation to myself that they exist. And then, IF someone happens to read them and be encouraged, inspired or enveloped in that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that provides a PEACE THAT SURPASSES UNDERSTANDING... then A-M-E-N! Because God is So Good. He has been SUPER patient with me, as well as Incredibly Merciful and Abundantly Gracious to me. And I can keep quiet no longer. So forgive me for the mysterious silence so far. And forgive me for the cascade of emotional shrapnel about to start flying from this blog.
What, you may ask, prompted this Revelation? (ha! that's funny right there because we just began a study of the book of Revelation at CBS last week! I didn't realize I used that word until I went back and reread this.)
"If you want to discover what happens when parents and children alike learn to live from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly and unconditionally loved (and liked!) by God, you’ve found the right place. I hope you’ll stay a while and share your journey with me."
From the blog by the author of Parenting the Wholehearted Child, Jeannie Cunnion. She has no idea I wrote this. She has no idea the impact her blog, book, and posts have had on my life. She probably has no idea who I am; but that doesn't matter. GOD. DOES. And He sent me to her blog to read that. perfect. little. description: "what happens when.... (we) learn to live from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly and unconditionally loved (and liked!) by God."
Y'all. I fell OVER. Flat on my face when I read those words. THAT'S IT. That's all there is to it. Do you want to know what life is all about? THAT'S IT. Do you want to know how to fix the problems in this world? THAT'S IT. Do you want to know how to find peace in YOUR life? THAT'S. IT.
It sounds over simplistic, but I'm telling you, it's not. It is both utterly PROFOUND and SIMPLE at the same time. She can probably explain it all way better than I can. BUT, I'm realizing God has led us each down different paths, with different life experiences for a reason... they all reach the same conclusion, FREEDOM IN HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, but her story is not my story. It is a part of my story now, yes. Each is a story of how God brought a broken girl through to His Truth. And each story is a powerful testimony of God's mercy, grace and love that needs to be shared, if only to being Glory to the one who loves us. Unconditionally, y'all. Messy and all. I've had that Freedom and I've squandered it. No More, my friend, no more.
So, I must write. I must share what I've learned: all about the Scripture He's captured my heart with and the fire He's used to refine me and the Love He's showered upon me. Because, I know, someone is out there hurting and broken. Desperate and lonely. Wondering and questioning. And somehow, these words might find you and be the stepping stone that begins YOUR path to Freedom. Oh what an honor that would be.
Truly. That is my greatest desire. For everyone to find this Freedom.
Unbelievable Freedom. In Christ.
And if this reaches 1. Only One.
It will be totally worth it.