Thrive or Survive?

This little question has been on my heart and mind for several months now. Earlier this year, I had the privilege of hearing an incredibly encouraging speaker at a mom's meeting: Frances Worthington. She talked about how she would live from one exciting, life changing conference to another. She would hear a message from God and get all hyped up to implement it in her own life, but then Monday would come and she would be back in survival mode.

That's me. Sundays are my favorite because I always get inspired and encouraged and hear from God through my pastor's sermons. I vigorously take notes and commit to make changes, but by Monday, it's like I get amnesia. I forget everything I learned and I'm back in survival mode as well.

I hate survival mode. Don't you?

Survival mode makes me focus on just getting through the day and not enjoying it. I miss those incredible details that make life so precious. What did my kids learn today? What special memory will stick with them from our time together today? What memory will stick with me? Nothing. It's all a blur. I HATE THAT!!

I don't want to live in survival mode anymore. I want to thrive. I want to enjoy each and every second I have with these babies, whether 2 or 9 years old. I want to remember those cute things they say, or those amazing facts they just shared with me.

Frances says when God finally got through to her, He told her the only way to thrive and not just survive is to daily fill your cup with His spirit, because ours is too weak to handle life on our own. (So true.) Only when we fill our cup with Him, will we have enough left over to pour into the lives of those around us: our spouse, kids, family, friends and the world around us. She even showed us how this looks using this profound visual aid:

(You can't see the water falling from one
level to the next bc my camera phone is
soooo slooooow. But you get the picture ;)

I so want this. I want His love, His patience, His grace, His compassion to overflow from me to my hubby and kids, my mom and brother and sister and dad and aunt, my friends who feel neglected by me and to the world who desperately need to hear of my Source of Hope of Love and sheer Power to go on.

How about you? Do you want this, too?

Let's commit to spend time with Him daily, so He can fill our cups and we in turn can overflow into theirs.

Encounter

Encounter is a class held by FaithBridge Foster Care to introduce prospective families to foster care.

For a while, we've been feeling like God might be calling us to become a foster family. We've been praying and researching for a while. But with finances a challenge, my work situation a challenge, it seemed like a far off goal. Something we can consider when I am able to quit work or when hubby finds a better job. So we just kept praying waiting for God to say go.

Then we heard about FaithBridge and their Encounter class. We figured it couldn't help to go to that class and just get more information. The class wasn't a commitment to begin Fostering, it was simply informational. So we signed up.

Then, the day of the class, hubby got sick. Really sick. We were not going to be able to go, so I called the office to cancel our reservation. The lady who answered was so kind and helpful! She asked if I had any questions I wanted to ask her since we weren't going to be able to go to the class. (Of course I did!!) She stayed on the phone with me for over half an hour! I know God knew we would not be able to go to the class, and He provided a way for us to get just a little more information on that piece of the puzzle He may have for us. As I look back at other times in my life when I was unsure but I trused God and plowed through, I can see evidence of His work all over it. It's hard to see it when you are in the middle of it, but hind sight is, as they say, 20/20. One day, I know I will look back on our foster care/adoption journey and see His work all over it. I believe this lady will be part of that.

Though we didn't get to go to the class and we haven't taken any other steps towards fostering yet, that kind lady's helpfulness gave us full confidence that we had at least found the organization that would help us find our place in this calling. Can't wait to see what God has in store for our little family.

If you are considering or even wondering about foster care, check them out. They have developed a foster care model that will enable more families to help because they have put support methods in place so that foster families are not alone in the journey. It is brilliant, Biblical and necessary. So many kids need love and support and through FaithBridge and Christ-centered families like yours and (hopefully) mine, we can change their world!

Random Thoughts to try and Catch Up

Life is truly full of interesting twists and turns! Of all the things I have written about here, longings and dreams and prayers of my heart, one thing I never wrote about was Homeschooling, because I never thought it would be a possibility for me.

Now, here we are, THREE MONTHS into our homeschool journey! And BOY! Have I learned a lot! And I still have SO MUCH to learn!

I look forward to catching up on my blog posts several drafts I jotted down but never fully finished, and well as writing some new ones to fill in the gaps. I can't wait to share with you how this journey began for us, how it is working in our home with my two jobs and 4 kids (LOL!!!) It is crazy to say the least. But it is also. Amazing!! 

I will share with you our curriculum meltdowns and thrills, as well as our favorite resources and our day to day schedule. All this I'm still learning about but eager to share because I have learned so much by reading ideas from others! 

There is so much catching up to do... posts about the kids, photography, our adoption plans, and now homeschool! So please stay tuned! And ask any questions you may have! I'd love to help you along your journey as well :)  

A Little Photobook Update

So, I've gotten behind on my blogging again, but only because we have been super busy!! Lot's of exciting changes to update you on! Can't wait to catch you up on all the details, but for now, hope you enjoy this little photobook update...

Click here to view this photo book larger

Create your own custom photo books at Shutterfly.com.

Just made this book as a thank you for a sweet family friend who helped us so very much when I was pregnant with Baby S and since then as well. All she asked for in return was "a few pictures"! So when I got an offer from Shutterfly for a free 8x8 photobook, I knew I had to make it for her! 

Have fun looking through it, and look for posts to come for details on all we've been up to!

Heaven is Like A 4 Year Old's World

This is life from my 4yo's perspective:

• Dancing makes everything better. Or perfect. Yea, dancing makes everything perfect.

• Making friends is easy. Everyone is a best friend in waiting!

• Love is it. "I love love!" 

When I get so tired I want to quit everything, I look at her and remember it doesn't have to be so difficult. We are already so blessed, why not just enjoy the moment. This one, right here. 

Sometimes I think abut heaven and can't wait to get there. This life is hard. As soon as one problem gets fixed, another crops up. Heaven will be so glorious. Just dancing, worshipping our Father, experiencing His love like never before. Sharing it with friends no longer bogged down by the pressure of comparisons, focused only on Him. 

Then I remember, He has us here now for a purpose. And He gave me a little girl to remind me He's given me a little piece of heaven right now.

Thank you Father!

That "Feeling"

One thing I always doubt when I don't feel it is how do I hear God? But then, when I get "That Feeling", that Tug regarding an idea (often a CRAZY idea!) that I just can't shake or ignore, I know THAT'S God talking to me!

Lately, it's about children. Orphans and Foster kids specifically. I can't get them out of my head. I can't get them out of my heart. We have been in our new house 2 weeks, and this place feels like the tip of the iceburg, like something HUGE is headed our way. Something HUGE, and possibly SCARY, but also very WONDERFUL.

Just "by chance" (or is it?) I have recently run into several blogs and blog posts about Foster children. One post in particular was titled "What if we'd said no?" It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt like she had written it just for me.

We have always felt the tug to adopt. Before we had kids, I think even while we were dating, we knew we'd adopt some day. When the adoption of my cousins in Colombia came up, we thought that was why, but then it fell apart after a year and a half. And we were broken hearted and confused. Then we lost our "Adoption home" and moved into a tiny ranch and were really confused.

But now, we are in another perfect "adoption  home", with plenty of space for as many kids as God is willing to give us. And we felt like, when the time is right, we'll do it. He'll provide everything we need.

But lately, I am getting "that feeling" like That Time is Now, not years from now. And it is scary. So many questions...

• I already struggle to mother 4 kids with 2 jobs, how could I handle any more? Especially if they are hurting?
• We can barely make ends meet with what we have, how would we afford it?
• We just moved in! We aren't even unpacked! Would we even pass a Home Study?
• I still have soooo much to learn about cooking and organizing. My current kids just go with the flow, but how can I expect new kids to deal with this craziness? No, we'd never pass a Home Study!

But then this question....

What am I missing by saying no, not right now?

Oh goodness, Father, where are you taking us? I'm excited and scared.

A New Season Begins

One of my (many!) favorite verses in the Bible is





"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun."       Ecc 3:1 
It goes on to explain how in life, we go through all kinds of season... a time to cry & a time to laugh, a time to mourn & a time to dance, a time to be silent & a time to speak, even a time to love & a time to hate. This verse helps me keep life in perspective, I have learned to cherish and savor the wonderful times, and just grin and bear it through the hard time because it is just that... a hard time, a season that will soon pass.

I am so excited to realize our family has just entered a new season in life. In the past 2 years, we have survived really tough season - loss of our family business (Real Estate), a failed adoption (Both stories are sprinkled throughout several posts), miscarriage, passing of my sweet mother-in-paw due to breast cancer, passing of my precious grandmother due to Alzheimer's in November (this hurt so much I haven't even written a post about it. I am still walking through the grieving process, and will write about it soon). But it is clear God brought us through stronger than ever and has now brought us into an exciting, new season.

First, He brought us to an amazing new church... a small church called Mt. Calvary Baptist Church with the most amazing pastor, staff and church family! We still love BHBC and they will always hold a special place in our hearts as church that we grew up in. But Mt. Calvary has some exciting new programs challenging each of us in our little family! The kids are loving the Awana's program! Then the adult Sunday School classes were challenged to each create a community project to begin, fund & implement. Our Pastor's style is so refreshing, so enlightening, and so challenging. We learn something from him EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. (And he teaches us 3x a week! He is our Sunday School teacher, and leads a Bible Study for the adults during the kids' Awana's time on Wed!) And his wife is just as incredible, her passion for children is obvious and they learn so much from her, too!

Then, in 2 weeks we will move into a home of our own. We've been renting for a year and a half after losing our home to due the loss of our Real Estate business. We thought that house was our "forever" house, big enough to house all the children we felt God was going to bless us with through natural and adoptive means. When we lost it and moved into a small 3BR ranch, we were confused, wondering why God would have blessed us with 3 wonderful children, and placed the desire to adopt more when we wouldn't have the room for them.

18 Months later.... we now have the most amazing house! It has 5 bedrooms, 3 bonus rooms and a full basement! (It's weird, though, bc it doesn't look huge from the outside.) It also  has an amazing yard and is located on the cul-de-sac!  It is a perfect home for kids, and since we now have 4 tummy children, it fits us perfectly! Baby Sunshine will have his own room!

Yet, it doesn't feel complete!

That makes us both excited and nervous about the road ahead. We've always know we were going to adopt, and we thought Brayan and Yorely were it! As broken hearted as we are about that not working out, we remain in contact with them and are proud of the new & improved choices they are making. (Update soon!) We have no idea where God will take us, but we know He has had a plan, (always has!) and we feel like we are entering a new, happy season. Some new ideas He is placing in our hearts:

• Fostering to adopt??  - this is both scary and wonderful! Can't wait to share more about this!
• Becoming a Stay at Home Mom - you know I deal with so much guilt about having to work. It has been particularly hard since Mr. Sunshine was born. Mothering 4 kids and working 2 jobs has been harder than ever. But lately, we are both feeling it might be time to find a way for me to stay home? We have no idea how, but we know God can work anything out. It's not just about my guilt, it's about the kids' needs, they need more time than we have with both of us working. And adding more through fostering/adoption would only increase this need.
• Chris changing jobs - teaching has become increasingly more stressful, demanding and much less enjoyable. And the pay does not meet our needs, thus why I have to work full time. They are taking away the teachers' power to discipline in the classroom, creating more and more chaos and cutting their pay. He works more and gets paid less, he can't teach the students the way they need because they are always changing and implementing "new strategies". Something has to change. He is miserable.

It's so hard not knowing what is coming next, but know He is in control is exhilarating!

We can't wait!