Unbelievable FREEDOM

Do you want to know how many "drafts" I have sitting in my blog dashboard right now?
11. ELEVEN y'all!

Do you want to know why?

Because so often, at least 11 times apparently, I sit down to write a post, full of words spilling out of me that must be shared with the world- whether or not anyone is actually going to read them- because if I don't I'll bust. But then? Something causes me to hit the "Save" button instead of "Publish".

It's that small voice whispering lies...

"No one cares what you have to say."

"WHO is going to take precious time from their day to read anything YOU have written?!"

"If you post this, people will lash out at you!!"

and so on.....

But today, I realized, something- or Someone- prompted me to write those words to begin with. And by never finishing it, I've failed the mission those words had been given. Someone DID need to read them. Even if it was just me.

     -SO-

Over the next few days I will be publishing all those posts and then some. If any of them offend you, I'm sorry. If they move you, hurrah! But I have words spilling out of my words here. A heart about to burst wide open with unshared sentiments and lessons learned yearning to be shared out loud, if only as a confirmation to myself that they exist. And then, IF someone happens to read them and be encouraged, inspired or enveloped in that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that provides a PEACE THAT SURPASSES UNDERSTANDING... then A-M-E-N! Because God is So Good. He has been SUPER patient with me, as well as Incredibly Merciful and Abundantly Gracious to me. And I can keep quiet no longer. So forgive me for the mysterious silence so far. And forgive me for the cascade of emotional shrapnel about to start flying from this blog.

What, you may ask, prompted this Revelation? (ha! that's funny right there because we just began a study of the book of Revelation at CBS last week! I didn't realize I used that word until I went back and reread this.)

THESE. WORDS.:

"If you want to discover what happens when parents and children alike learn to live from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly and unconditionally loved (and liked!) by God, you’ve found the right place. I hope you’ll stay a while and share your journey with me."

From the blog by the author of Parenting the Wholehearted Child, Jeannie Cunnion.  She has no idea I wrote this. She has no idea the impact her blog, book, and posts have had on my life. She probably has no idea who I am; but that doesn't matter. GOD. DOES. And He sent me to her blog to read that. perfect. little. description: "what happens when.... (we) learn to live from the freedom found in being wholeheartedly and unconditionally loved (and liked!) by God."

Y'all. I fell OVER. Flat on my face when I read those words. THAT'S IT. That's all there is to it. Do you want to know what life is all about? THAT'S IT. Do you want to know how to fix the problems in this world? THAT'S IT. Do you want to know how to find peace in YOUR life? THAT'S. IT. 

It sounds over simplistic, but I'm telling you, it's not. It is both utterly PROFOUND and SIMPLE at the same time. She can probably explain it all way better than I can. BUT, I'm realizing God has led us each down different paths, with different life experiences for a reason... they all reach the same conclusion, FREEDOM IN HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, but her story is not my story. It is a part of my story now, yes. Each is a story of how God brought a broken girl through to His Truth. And each story is a powerful testimony of God's mercy, grace and love that needs to be shared, if only to being Glory to the one who loves us. Unconditionally, y'all. Messy and all. I've had that Freedom and I've squandered it. No More, my friend, no more.

So, I must write. I must share what I've learned: all about the Scripture He's captured my heart with and the fire He's used to refine me and the Love He's showered upon me. Because, I know, someone is out there hurting and broken. Desperate and lonely. Wondering and questioning. And somehow, these words might find you and be the stepping stone that begins YOUR path to Freedom. Oh what an honor that would be.

Truly. That is my greatest desire. For everyone to find this Freedom.


Unbelievable Freedom. In Christ.


And if this reaches 1. Only One.
It will be totally worth it.

The church is a whore, and she is my mother.

aThat is a quote from St. Augustine.

Before I offend, allow me to explain:

"The church IS the unfaithful bride of Christ, failing to live up to the marriage vows of Christ. But she is also my mother- I wouldn't be a christian today, and I would'nt know about Jesus and I wouldn't have the Bible if it wasn't for this thing called the church. It has carried the truth for all of its shortcomings" - Tony Campalo

This statement and its explanation have been in my head since I watched the documentary 

"Lord,  Save us from Your Followers" by Dan Merchant. Though it sounds harsh, it is so true and could be so healing, I believe, if everyone would acknowledge it - both Christians and non-Christians. So I had to post it, in hopes of Starting a Conversation. 

Basically yes, the church is very imperfect, but also very valuable.

Like it points out in the documentary, Bill Maher says he believes Jesus is a great person, a wonderful role model, if only Christians lived like He did! (Rough summary.) But it's true: so many people refrain from believing in Christ because of the hurtful interactions they have had with Christians. "They're hypocrites" they say.

Hence: The church is the unfaithful bride of Christ, a whore. We fail to live up to His standards. YES, we do. (Um, but I think that's the point, He loves us - and them- anyway!)

However, the latter part is just as true. Without the church we wouldn't have the Bible, and I wouldn't have my precious, thirst-quenching, peace-giving relationship with Christ. It is because of the church I met Jesus, which is why I am who I am today, so, yes, the church is also my mother.

This is one of my most heartbreaking struggles; it is something over which I cry myself to sleep at night on a regular basis.  I KNOW the peace I have experienced, where it came from, and the difference it made in my life before Christ and after. But I am not going to force it down anyone's throat. NO, it is something they have to decide for themselves; just as God gave me the free will to choose, He gave it to them as well. Does that mean I don't like them? Or love them? NOT AT ALL, in fact I love them tremendously! So I try to live in a way that hopefully, they will see I am not thirsty and ask for a drink of my water. 

Yet, they don't. Why? They never ask, and I never offer.

In fact, instead, they think I judge them. I condemn them. I don't love them at all. 

And we never discuss it to clear up the confusion.

Dan's entire point is that we need to converse.  We need to lovingly converse with each other about everything: our differences in opinions, our likes & dislikes, our joy & our anger, our offenses and defenses.

So, why is the gospel of love dividing America?..........

..........They're not feeling the love.

 With all that I am, after watching this movie, I want to try to converse more with everyone and share the love.

Feed Your CORE DESIRE

HAHA! That sounds DANGEROUS! But when we REALLY understand what he meant by that, it makes perfect sense!

This is another one of those radio sermons I listened to that just blew me away. In Part 4 of his series called "Adding to your Faith", Pastor Mike Fabarez talks about self-control. He says all we have to do to maintain self-control is to keep one thing in mind: what we really want is to Feed Our Core Desire. The thing is, until we've come to know who we Really Are, we can't know what we Really Want.

You see, initially, we all read that statement and immediately think of things our flesh would desire: food, money, sex, material possessions, relationships, etc. etc. However, that's not who we Really Are.

So, you ask, WHO ARE WE then, REALLY? 

We are Children of God!!!

Now I know not everybody who may read this blog believes that. But there is proof inside your heart. The Creator made us all that way, to yearn for His presence, and His love. I know so many people who "have it all" by normal standards, yet the are incredibly unhappy. This is because they are NOT feeding their CORE DESIRE as they think they are. All the money, boyfriends/girlfriends, and stuff they have do nothing to quell the hunger deep inside. THIS IS HOW WE WERE DESIGNED!! 

So, how do you feed your core desire? First you accept who you really are. Click here to hear about it.

Once you accept that you are a child of God, saved by grace through faith because of the sacrifice of our sweet savior Jesus Christ, you have to begin to feed your true core desires. 

Colossians 3 says we are to put away our old earthly ways and put on our new self, which is being renewed in the image of our Creator! So the things our flesh desires are our old earthly ways, but your core desires are what your SOUL desires: to be made in the likeness of God! 

OK, that sounds great, but how do we APPLY it? Next time you are faced with temptation, ask yourself, is this really what I want?!" Think about it.... is it what YOU want or what your flesh wants?

EX: I struggle daily to exercise. (Among other things! I also struggle daily with reading my Bible, cleaning, and practicing my photography and cello. But for this example we'll stick with the exercising.) When it comes time to put on my sneakers and start my work-out, the couch starts calling me! As do the Doritos and Twix bars. Ohhhhh what a tough battle! But when I think about my core desire, I can tell my flesh NO! I DO NOT WANT TO SIT ON THE COUCH I WANT TO WORK-OUT!

 So basically... TELL YOUR FLESH WHO'S THE BOSS!

But, remember: your flesh will ALWAYS be one moment away from giving in to its desires. So your flesh is only one moment away from adultery, gluttony, materialism, etc. BE THE BOSS! It won't be easy. Like everything else, you must take it one step at a time. Moment by moment, make that conscience decision to be the boss and tell your flesh no, because you want to be more like Christ.

And parents, when your kids argue: Don't you trust me?! You can answer them "NO! Because though you have been made new in Christ, you still reside in a sinful world, in a body of flesh that desires the things of this world! We cannot ever give it an opportunity." (That's good advice for us parents too.)

Choosing Between Better or Best (Elegir Entre Bastante Bien o Lo Mejor)

Do you prefer good enough or the best?

Prefieres lo bueno o lo mejor? (Para leer esto en español haga clic aquí)

I'm cracking up at the thought of what I'm about to tell you because I really can’t believe it myself: recently I started to listen to sermons online!  It cracks me up because I remember my Grandma Lee listening to sermons on the radio or on tape and thinking to myself “why does she do that? She goes to church every Sunday, and she still wants to hear more preaching!?” I totally didn’t get it, but I did know it was because she loved the Lord, that much was obvious. I loved going to her house, it had a different feeling about it. She had a different way about her. But I did not understand her desire to read the Bible so much and listen to “extra” sermons all the time!

But OH! What God has revealed to me this week has completely blown me away! The more I listened, the more I wanted to hear! The more I learn, the less I realized I know and the more I wanted to study! Now, I must confess, I am nowhere near my Grandma Lee yet, but I am so excited to finally understand her!! I hope to one day be as good as she is at reading the Bible regularly and emanating the love of Christ as she does. 

I am so excited about this that I decided to begin blogging about what God’s teaching me to share with you these amazing sermons and see if we can all grow closer to Him together.

The first one I want to share with you is from Pastor Mike Fabarez from www.FocalPointMinistries.org and his series called “Adding to your faith”. They are available on their website if you want to listen to it yourself (HIGHLY recommend you do! It’s amazing! You can find the series here.)

He focused on the word “goodness” in 2 Peter 1:5, which says:  “…make every effort to add to your faith goodness…”

The word for goodness Peter used here was “agathosune” which meant more than just our word for good; it meant noble, moral, and excellent.

So God’s standard  for us is excellence- but we often think of our Christian walk as just a choice between good and bad. For example, if we don't kill anybody that means we are good!

But here we see that is not what God intended! He wants us to choose between better and BEST!

For example, when I wake up in the morning, I don't think to myself “Should I love my husband today or hate him?” But God wants me to take it further than that...

Pastor Mike goes on to show how this standard of excellence should affect our thoughts and our words:

1. Excellent Thoughts: Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
   
   So if God demands we have excellent thoughts, then we have to do better than believing we are doing good because we don’t think about stealing when we go in a store. No, God wants excellence in our thoughts, so we have to be careful what we put in our head that guides our thoughts. Like that movie playing at the theatre. We don’t go see “bad” movies, but that’s not the choice! Are the movies we are watching excellent? What about the TV shows? Are they excellent? Preaching to the choir here because I know my favorite show probably would not fall into the excellent category.
   
   
2.  Excellent Words: Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
   
   WOW!  So not only does God want us to avoid unwholesome talk, but He wants us to use ONLY words that will build others up according to their needs (which may not always be necessarily easy to hear) AND to benefit the other people listening as well!! That’s a lot to think about before choosing our words!!
   

I wanted to share this because these words from Pastor Mike Fabarez really challenged me. I have blogged about how I feel God calling me to do MORE with my faith, my life. Hearing this message really felt like God was speaking right to my heart, challenging me to add to my faith.

Why should we want to add to our faith? That will be my next post. Please come back and read it; the answer to that question shook the foundations of my comfy life. I’ll leave you with a quote from Pastor Mike:

“In Real Estate, buyers often want to buy the nicest house at the cheapest possible price. Well we Christians do the same: we want all the best blessings of a good Christian life the cheapest possible price.”