Choking on the Internet

Chewing Gum and the Internet.

What do these have in common? Nothing really, except I just had a revelation at how one can be used to teach responsibility on the other. Sounds crazy, I know, but stick with me for a few minutes!...

My little girl INSISTS she is old enough to chew gum.  She just turned 3. Now sometimes, she does ok with it, she'll chew just one piece, then spit it out in the trash. However, this is usually only when/if I am hovering over her reminding her to only put in ONE PIECE and to spit it out when she is through. Yesterday, though, I forgot to hover, and sure enough, she swallowed it! Come to find out, she had THREE pieces in her mouth!!! (Thanks to her generous big brother K, who was only trying to share, LOL.)   AAHHHH! She could have choked! I panicked!

Out comes the Mommy Lecture. I sat all three of them down and told them I had to explain this very important rule to them and that they needed to pay close attention:

• There is a RIGHT time and a WRONG time for EVERYTHING!!  And I quoted:

• Ecclesiastes 3

  A Time for Everything

   ¹ There is a time for everything,
     and a season for every activity under the heavens

 I told them how many, many times, we think we know what's best for us, but really only God knows what's best for us and He laid it out in His Word. And His Word says that parents should seek out wisdom from God, and kids should seek out wisdom from their parents. Wisdom... because only wisdom can really tell you how to make right choices in life. And when we think we know what's best, we think we can make the right choices for us, however, we make choices based on what we want, not what is best for us at the appropriate time. It all comes down to timing! You see, there is a right time to chew gum, but NOT at 3 years old when we can't remember the rules! Just like there is a right time to drive, at 16.... can you imagine a baby driving a car?, I asked them. (They chuckled.)  Right, I said, so three years old is NOT the right time to chew gum! So no matter how much you want to share (brothers) or how bad you want to chew gum (Princess), NOW IS NOT THE TIME.  Do you understand? I asked.

Um, yea. They nodded but looked a bit overwhelmed. Maybe I went overboard, a little. OK, maybe a lot. But all that came out of nowhere!! It just came pouring out of me like a milk jug in a, well, three year old's hand.

When, suddenly I realized, NO. This did NOT come out of nowhere. God gave me those words and we are laying a foundation for future discussions. Those inevitable discussions about dating, sex, and parties. Oh, my teenage kids are going to hate me. But I am already preparing myself to prepare them for a life of purity. Whoa! How did I get from gum to internet to purity?!  WOW, my brain jumps all over the place. BUT.... THE THING IS, PURITY BEGINS WITH THE HEART, AND THE EYES ARE THE WINDOWS TO THE HEART.   And now, with technology as it is, the internet is unbelievably easy to access by kids of all ages!!!   This has become one of my greatest fears, and challenges. To figure out how to protect my kids from the internet when it is spreading like the swine flu and being practically forced down our throats from every angle.

Oh, I KNOW, thee are tons of resources for protecting our kids, and I am  eternally grateful for those! (Here is a quick list in case you need some  ideas, each of these can lead you to more:

1. Safe Eyes (a computer/internet monitoring service)
2. XXX Church (another computer/internet monitoring service)
3. Focus on the Family (what don't they have? If you need it, they got it on here.)
4. PluggedIn Online (reviews media in detail so you can decide if it is safe for your family or not)
5. Pure Intimacy (articles, resources etc. for how to overcome sexual addictions & protec your family from them)
6. True Love Waits (an entire program dedicated to teaching youth about purity, lots of helpful stuff for parents)
7. Pam Stenzel (Dynamic author/speaker on the importance of abstinence and teaching it to our youth.)

However, I am the FIRST PERSON in charge of my kids' purity. (Well, hubby and me, of course.) And it is NEVER too early to start laying the foundations for purity. Especially when their choices regarding purity will effect them for their ENTIRE LIVES!!!

You see, R, my 6 year old, is already feeling  the alure of the magical, wonderful internet. We have our computers all set up with filters, timers, password protected access and monitoring. This has begun to frustrate R, because when he learns about a new website at school, he can't just come home and type it in. Nope. He has to tell me about it, let me check it out privately and then add it to his list of approved websites before he can access it. MANY, MANY times he has asked if he can't just have my password for adding sites. Nope. And then he defers to the ever popular response... "that's not fair! Don't you trust me?"   Yes, R, I do trust YOU, I tell him, and I remind him what a GREAT JOB he  does at protecting his heart by closing his eyes whenever we run into anything inappropriate, either in public or on TV.  BUT, I tell him, it's the internet I do not trust. All it would take would be one wrong keystroke and he would be whisked away to a website that would bombard him with inappropriate images and words before he even knew what happened, choking him then and there before he even had a chance at protecting himself.  He immediately stops arguing, and though I know he does not completely understand, I pray these little lessons are being stored away in his precious little heart for that time when he'll need to remember them. The inevitable time when temptation will come roaring in his face trying to force him to make a decision that could cost him even the tiniest bit of his purity.

And so, you see my friend. We CAN choke on the internet. It happens all the time to men, women and children before they are even aware of what's happening to them.  However, there is hope for recovery. (Please email me if you need to know more about this hope. I have GOBS of details to give you, just not here, right now.) But wouldn't it be better to not ever have to suffer with it to begin with? THAT is my goal in teaching my kids (all kids, really) the importance of making the right choices, at the right time. Starting with chewing gum.  Call me crazy.

The Call

How do you know when God calls you? This is not a rhetorical question. If you have an experience that might answer this, please, leave a comment below and share it with us. We are eager to know.

I wish it was as obvious as this picture. Or Bill Engvall's "Here's your Sign". 

You see, Chris and I have been on a journey for about 6 years now. A journey we thought was culminating soon to the purpose God had planned all along, but now we feel as lost as we did 5 years ago. It seems the closer we get, the farther we are. The more time we spend with Him, the less we understand. Though, you would think it would be the other way around.

I'm going to do my best to explain this, but, you see, it is a general overwhelming feeling that is really tough to put into words. This is going to be a long, seemingly random hodgepodge of stories. Nevertheless, if you feel like reading, here goes:

Six years ago, Chris and I were still fairly newlyweds: 3 years, but no kids, enjoying married life, our jobs  and  hanging out with friends. But we started to feel unsettled. There has to be more to life. Yes, we wanted kids, and they would come, in time. But we felt like God wanted us to do even more. We are both shy by nature, uncomfortable until we really get to know someone, yet we both have this passion for people. Especially youth. We were working for a church, Chris as a youth leader and I was the part-time secretary. We were building our new Real Estate business. Chris was also teaching and I was finishing school to become a teacher as well as working a great local small business getting to use my Spanish. Yes, we were juggling many balls in the air. Still, we felt like God wanted MORE.

Since then, we've added three kids here and one in heaven. Plus two in Colombia we feel are our own though we can't bring them home due to immigration's red tape. We have served in various churches and made a full circle coming back to our home church at Burnt Hickory Baptist. And the feeling that God wants MORE has only gotten stronger.

We thought it would be fulfilled by adopting Brayan and Yorely, but the more we obeyed the more red tape we were dealt.

When Chris was layed off we thought maybe God wanted to send us elsewhere for a job. In an attempt at obedience, Chris sent out applications all over. No reply.

Before we get any farther, let me explain that I do know that God has given us one of the most important ministries you could have: our kids. We value that tremendously and do not take it lightly. However, as we go about our day-to-day activities, I still have this incredibly unsettled feeling that He wants me to do MORE.

We have inside us a burning passion for three major groups of souls:

1. Kids & teens who need love.
2. Young people who are bombarded through music, TV and movies with the cultural message that pre-marital sex is not only OK, but necessary in a relationship in today's modern world.
3. Married couples who face struggles with sexual temptation outside of God's beautiful design.

This passion is an all-consuming, deep-burning fire inside both of us. And so far, with no outlet. What happens to a building when an all-consuming fire burns within it? It implodes and falls apart. That is pretty much where we are today.


***Don't get me wrong, we love our life and we realize we are greatly blessed. And we are GRATEFUL.***

 But it is this very grattitude that creates in us the desire to give back. To serve our Father who has lavished so many blessings upon us.

Yet we remain lost in the dark. So many paths we thought He was guiding us on have failed:

• Real Estate: We sincerely thought we were called to provide a much needed service (Real Estate) in a much needed different way (with honesty, integrity and no-compromise dedication) - not that there aren't any such Realtors already, however, we know from experience, there are not many. The industry is overrun with deciet, selfishness, and general lack of customer service. It has been tough holding the line of black & white, right and wrong. So many in this industry believe in "gray areas". However, as much as we have poured into this business, it has yet to succeed. And I am not sure how much longer I wish to pursue it.
  
  
• Other Careers: Besides Real Estate, I have also had the dream, desire, or calling (?) to:
• be a history, music or drama teacher
• pursue photography
• write fiction novels
• write books about God's beautiful amazing design for sex
  
  All of these are paths I could see God leading me on to reach people for Him. I have unfinished pieces, schooling, or projects for all of the above, and more. Many people struggle with finding what they "want to be when they grow up." Though I genuninely love what I do as a part-time stay at home mom, sales rep and Realtor, I still feel like I am not where God wants me.
  
   
• Adoption: We both knew we were called to adopt since we got married. We trusted God would show us the who, when, where and how when His time was right. We were sure this was confirmed in July with Yorely and Brayan. However, since then, one road block after another, it seems like perhaps He is still saying "not yet." With Yorely's 16th birthday arriving in March, the deadline is quickly approaching.
  
  
• Youth Work: We have lovingly and excitedly served in various churches. Just when it seems like things were about to "take off" God gave us a clear sign it was time to move on. We have had to leave so many students we had fallen in love with, churches we grew to be family with, and goals we were about to see met. It was all in God's timing and we heard of wonderful, great things that occurred with each group after we left. Still, it hurt to not be a part of that.

I know it may seem like I am being ungrateful, and I assure you I am not. I truly love my life. I feel genuinely spoiled by my Abba Daddy. Precisely so, I want to serve Him. I want to share this love inside me that feels about ready to explode. I was to let this burning passion consume others for Him. But how? This is a question I have yet to clearly hear Him answer. I have so many ideas coming at me a hundred miles an hour, but no outlet. No confirmation from Him where and how to do them.

I am about ready to implode, so I had to let it out somehow. This post was more a therapeutic one than a purposeful one. Unless, of course you know how to answer the question. = )

********************UPDATE: 2/5/10***********************

HOLY WOW!

Since posting this, I had many friends and family members make suggestions, and I thank you! I was humbled by your suggestions, and honored by the idea of some of the things you could see me doing. And your encouragements let me to seriously think about your suggestions. Then after a series of events, I suddenly find myself studying photography and getting help from two professional portrait photographers! I AM BLOWN AWAY!

It is amazing how God leads us, step by step through the plan He already has for us. When I posted this I was feeling stuck in a rut, and with no direction to go in. Now, I am thoroughly enjoying my photography studies, and thrilled at the idea that this may really be my calling. I have met so many people already and can see how this could lead to meeting many, many more. And since life is all about relationships to me, what a perfect avenue this could be! I can't wait to see where God takes me from here.